TheoErotic

I posted a short update to Facebook a few days ago that was accused of being to new agey. Why? Because instead of thanking god for what is happening in my life right now I said: isn’t it great when the universe conspires to give you your deepest desire.

Have I started worshipping the universe?

Of course not!

I also do not subscribe to the dualistic view that every good thing that happens to me is given by god and every bad thing is the devils fault. Because frankly I don’t believe that the concept we name the devil have any power we don’t grant it ourselves.

We live in this universe, this kosmos, where everything and everyone is connected. According to quantum mechanics the entire universe is one big energetic organism. Life is made manifest by all the processes, natural, personal, relational, societal, around us. And sometimes these processes converge in patterns that produce our deepest desires.

Why would I not attribute this good turn to god? Well it simply depends on what we mean by god and how we imagine gods involvement. I do not believe that god meddles in every detail in our lives, as in I do not think god makes all the little things happen, I do believe that god is present in every moment of my life and in every little thing that happens. I believe that god lures me forward in every moment with a vision of love, evolution, complexity and connectedness. There is an important difference between god making things happen and god being present in things that happen.

Imagine this, imagine I pray for a weekly day of (I have been working seven day weeks since October 2013 with roughly one day of a month, although not every month). And suddenly the circumstances arise that I can start taking a weekly day of. I rejoice and give god the glory, but then, what if on my day of I get hit by a car and I am hospitalised. I wouldn’t be if god hadn’t granted me a day of I would not now be hospitalised… I now need a devil to blame the accident on. Or I would have to say that god wanted me to be hit by a car so I would slow down (I have heard both cases made in similar circumstances whithin the church). Both these explanations make for some bad theology. If I instead of believing that god (or the devil) made these things happen, believe that my choices and the processes (natural, psychological, relational, societal) I am a part of led me here, then I can also believe that god is present in my circumstance, both the good and the bad, working for love, growth and connection.

So I believe in the weakness of god. I believe that love, justice, mercy, truth are all weak forces or rather of the vocative order. They call to us and inspire us, they lure us and tell us that there is a greater way to be and to live. They are not strong forces that can make us do anything. Let’s use marriage as an example here. The institution of marriage is a strong force, it has a real consequence in my life, there are legal (and for me personally, professional) implications that comes with marriage. Love however, is a weak force, there is no legal bond, no real implications. Love cannot force anything. And yet, I think we would all agree that love trumps marriage anytime. Love inspires us to care, to forgive, to serve, to adore, to be our best in ways that marriage could only dream of. So do we do away with marriage? God no! We make sure to fill our marriage with love.

So here I am, there is something I have wanted to happen in my life for years and now it is happening. At first I tried to make it happen and when I did it moved further away. Then I decided to slow down and try to be more present every moment, to live in love and believe that it will happen when it happens and now it is happening. There is also a specific thing I wanted to do and whenever I tried to make it happen, make room in my schedule, it would turn out to be impossible. I had to let it go and when I did, out of the blue I was presented with an opportunity to do this very thing within the parameters of my already hectic and crazy life.

So here’s my crazy conspiracy theory.

When we present our case to the universe, the universe will respond. How do I do that? I pray to god. I put myself in a position where it could happen by making space for the change and living as if it was true. It becomes a cooperation between me, god and the world around me (including people).

If we truly believe, and I do, that all are connected, we are all one, one with each other and one with the divine. Then it is simply logical to assume that, as in any large organism, when I place myself in the position that Is uniquely mine, then the rest of the organism will conspire to further that which I am purposed to do.